While it would be preferable for everybody to go through a civil divorce involving mediation, this is not the case for everybody. While some people prefer to get through the divorce quickly and quietly, other marriages end in a high-conflict scenario.
The possibility of a high-conflict divorce becomes even more likely when one spouse is confrontational or abusive. Most people are emotional or angry at the end of a marriage, but those who are high-conflict are not ready to make the process easy and efficient.
Read on to learn more about high-conflict divorces and how you can endure them with the help of a family lawyer.
The Signs of a High-Conflict Divorce
One of the biggest signs a spouse is going to be high-conflict is deceitfulness. Individuals who are high-conflict may spin facts to fit their own narratives, manipulating things so that their own emotions make the most sense. As a result, you may face a difficult time when you are trying to discuss the intricacies of a divorce. This quality also factors into manipulation.
High-conflict spouses are also interested in placing all the blame on their partners. Lashing out becomes second-nature. Take note of how your spouse treats not only you but also your children.
One of the biggest problems with trying to divorce a high-conflict spouse is that he or she is typically unwilling to compromise. He or she is often unreasonable in divorce proceedings as a result. Because high-conflict spouses are so unwilling to compromise, they may consider making negotiations as part of a divorce to be "losing."
Tips for Managing a High-Conflict Divorce
One of the first things you should note about a high-conflict spouse is that he or she will be extremely difficult to smooth things over with. Getting into conversations about your feelings may be turned against you in the future. These discussions also often end in fights.
Individuals who are high-conflict may become aggressive and even dangerous. If you ever feel you are in danger while in the midst of a divorce, call the emergency number for your area immediately.
Your lawyer may advise that you open your own protected bank account to prevent your high-conflict spouse from doing any financial damage to you. Your future direct deposits may go into this account rather than your old marital accounts.
Divorce attorneys also often advise that their clients stay off social media during a divorce. The less information your spouse has about your actions and thoughts, the less he or she can use against you in divorce court.
Tips for Managing a High-Conflict Divorce with Children
When you have children involved in your marriage, you have a lot more to be concerned with. You do not want to harm the relationship your child has with their other parent, even if the parent does have a difficult personality.
Remember not to alienate your child from the parent, even if he or she is high-conflict. Alienation looks terrible in the midst of a custody battle and could mean you lose time with your children.
Additionally, keep in mind that children may begin modeling the behaviors and thoughts and of your highconflict ex-spouse. Children who are around this type of personality may fail to learn proper social skills or become violent. Therapy is a good option to consider during divorce.
If you do need to communicate about anything involving the children, do so using an app that saves messages. Your messages should be clear and concise, skipping anything that could lead to conflict. If anything untoward does happen, ensure that you take notes about it. Document anything you can that will provide hard facts.
Discuss High-Conflict Divorce with an Attorney
Finally, do not forget the role of a divorce attorney in helping you work out high-conflict matters. The Law Offices of Shahnaz Hussain are ready to help you ensure you and your children are safe during the divorce proceedings.